I was in a training seminar last week and a topic came up while we were sitting around waiting. The group was full of teachers, 9 women and 1 man. The topic was fighting in school. I am not a violent person, I have never been in an actual fight. I have had a few altercations, I guess mostly during the early teen years. But never an actual fight. I grew up with 3 older brothers and 2 older sisters, so I guess I had honed skills just in case. One of the teachers said "I can't tell you how many parents come in and admit they teach their kids it's ok to hit if you're in a fight. That only teaches them that you think it's ok to get ISS. That tells them it's ok to fight as an adult". I didn't say anything because it was quickly very clear by all the reactions I was the only one that disagreed. My answer would have been: 1. Yes 2. Yes and 3. Yes.
My husband and I agree and have told our boys that if someone hits you you have the right to fight back. It is not ok to cower and cry while someone is hitting you. We have always agreed on this and not just after 3 years in Taekwondo. My kids aren't aggressive and aren't bullies but I am confident they could come out standing if someone tried to hurt them. We all tell our kids to fight like hell if someone tries to kidnap them....why tell them to act defenseless if someone at school tries to hurt them? It's a mixed message. When I leave the boys at home I say "Don't answer the door for anyone", not " Don't answer the door unless it's grandma, uncle Chris, the neighbor, the police, Linda, Shannon, aunt Mardee....." the message is too confusing. Don't answer the door for anyone (unless it's Publishers Clearinghouse with the big 10 million dollar check). As adults how many of you would let someone attack you without fighting back? None of you, I hope. Self preservation should kick in. It's ok and necessary for you to stand up for yourself physically. I pity the poor fool that hits me first, I have a lot of built up anxiety to release.....they may need some serious medical intervention : )
What do you think? What do you tell your kids?
I agree with you all the way!! I have taught both of my boys the same thing... I have told them YOu throw the first punch and you will get your butt beat at home. YOu let someone Beat the Hell out of you and Not fight Back, Well your gonna get your butt beat at home(Not really but you know). If someone Hits you first Knock them on their "ASK" and they and everyone around will know not to hit you again.... I have only been in 1 physical fight outside siblings of course and I got my "ASK" beat but I didnt go down without a fight.
ReplyDeleteIt is shocking to hear of those that tell kids to not stand up for themselves.
Gina